Passing the torch

04.21.05

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By Travis Coleman

CRAZY HORSE, S.D. — At first, I didn't even want to be here.

University was getting tougher as finals approach. My grades were plummeting, and my stories were growing more tired and trite.

My life, in an academic sense, was at an all-time low.

But after my first day at the Native American Newspaper Career Conference, I feel more spiritually at ease than in months past.

Walking into the Crazy Horse Memorial Conference Center about an hour before others arrived, I noticed the lack of people. But it gave me an ample and much-needed opportunity to look at old Native American artifacts, weapons and clothing, the same objects my ancestors used. It made me feel that strong sense of community I hadn't known I was missing. I felt as though, at least in the short term, I could say, "That's a part of me. That's a part of who I am."

Now is the time to pass this feeling to younger Natives.

I want the chance to help my people. I want the Native students here who may pursue journalism to be able to look at someone in their age group undergoing the same identity struggles and issues they may have.

When Patrick Delabrue and I waited in the rain-drenched line to eat dinner, I noticed a kid reading a book alone. I thought, "Why isn't he eating? Why isn't he socializing?"

These are the questions I've asked myself when so many individuals gather. I told Patrick that kid was me.

I haven't had the chance to speak to him, but when I do, I picture him feeling much like I did when I arrived at Crazy Horse. I hope he, too, will say, "That's me."

Travis Coleman, Ponca Tribe of Nebraska, attends the University of South Dakota in Vermillion. He is a graduate of the Freedom Forum's American Indian Journalism Institute.